If I said to you, I earn less money than you do, my house is smaller than yours, my clothes are secondhand, or my cupboards are almost empty, what would your gut reaction be? I’m sorry for you, perhaps? Or, work harder to earn more, maybe? How about - you’re lesser than me. I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest. After all, we’re all brought up to believe hard work reaps big rewards, and society favours those with money. That money, more often than not, ends up as ‘stuff’. Everything you can see right now was once money. That money took time to make. So whilst you’re busy working to earn the money to buy that stuff, some of your life is over.

This is the first post in a small series on how the power of decluttering and organising your home can help you to live a slower, more fulfilling life. I am so glad you’ve joined me.

Stepping into minimalism

I started my journey into living a more minimalist lifestyle in 2018. Like with all lifestyle changes, it can be hard to challenge years of inherited behaviours. Which is why before I suggest you even consider emptying any cupboards, you take time to evaluate your life. Anyone can take a bin bag and send a ton of possessions to landfill, but not many are brave enough to ask themselves why? What has driven me to this moment? Am I doing this from rage, anger or despair? Does caring for everything in my home bring me joy? What lifts me up? What breaks my heart? What makes me feel like I’m suffocating?

discover who you are and what you want in life

When I became pregnant with my son, I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum (HG). HG is excessive vomitting and nausea in pregnancy that can last all 40 weeks. Mine lasted 30. That changes a person, especially to a mother who could not look after their own child. It soon became very apparent that ‘stuff’ was a big part of what was making me miserable.

I’ve never been a hoarder. Although a photograph of my childhood bedroom will say otherwise (that’ll be in my next blog post.) The things I kept hold of were because of the memory that was attached to them, rather than the use or beauty of the item itself. Most of us do this, I think it’s fair to say. Not all those memories warm your heart though. They can spark a chain of memories that include grief, joy, regret and even, if we’re being totally honest, guilt. Guilt does funny things to us. The guilt of throwing something away that’s been given to you, or that you’ve spent money on (that money you had to use up some of your life to receive.) Choosing to move items out of your possession when there is a level of guilt attached means you will, in all likelihood, fail. You have to do something else first. You have to discover who you are and what you truly want in life. You have to ignore everything you’ve been taught, brought up to believe in and know unreservedly what you want your life to look like. This takes guts. But oh, the complete utter joy is worth it.

Finding yourself and becoming free

There is no quick fix. You won’t get to the end of this blog post and suddenly have discovered who you are. Fundamentally, it takes time and being truthful with yourself. The easiest way to discover if you love parts of your life (or not) is to go without them and see if you find yourself aching in their absence. The lockdown is giving us all the time to slow down, listen to ourselves and our bodies. In those 30 weeks of hyperemesis despair, I couldn’t garden. Its absence revealed how much joy and connectivity to our world gardening provided me with. I yearned for it. I also realised how much I hated the environment I was working in and the job I was doing. A prestigious employer, a hard-won position. How could I possibly give that up? The answer was easy; it was making me sick. I suffer from stress-induced migraines and cluster headaches and had to take three types of medication in order to keep them at bay on the days I went to work. For what? Was the stuff I was spending this money earning worth it (my health)?

I urge you to do the following:

1. Turn off all notifications on your mobile phone (except obviously emergency contacts) and limit your usage. If you’re usually on social media or WhatsApp for a few hours a day, see how you feel if you don’t look at your phone for half your usual scrolling time. (There are apps that can monitor this for you.) Repeat this for a few days. Be surprised at how many times you have to consciously stop yourself from just reaching for your phone. Be mindful to your emotions when you pick your phone back up and connect. Have you missed out? How has that time away made you feel? Be honest. It’s OK to say you missed it, it’s OK to say you want to go without.

2. Dedicate time every day to ‘nothing’. Ok, so I know this sounds crazy, but say for five minutes every morning, perhaps whilst the kettle boils, you will stand or sit still and do nothing but tune into yourself. What will you hear? Where do you ache? What can’t you get off your mind? How did last night’s text chat truly make you feel? Write these things down if you find it helpful. Practise this type of mindfulness every day. This is exactly how I discovered the need for more quiet and less stuff in my life.

3. Touch every single material possession. Pick one small space first. (I started with the drawer I keep stationery supplies in.) Did you discover things in there that had been long forgotten? Is it obvious that there’s trash rather than useful, beautiful tools that are a pleasure to have and use? More importantly, how long did it take you to feel every single thing?

The possessions we have take up time and energy, both physical and mental. Every day you have to clean, tidy, organise or even dispose of the things in your home. If you don’t keep on top of it, things take even longer to find and use and you end up on the merry-go-round of consume-dispose, consume-dispose, because our homes are too full to find what we need when we need it (and we are exhausted by all the consuming and disposing to tackle the real issue head on.)

Further reading and SELF-discovery

If you’re after some questions to help you discover yourself, I recommend downloading Susannah Conway’s Unravel Your Year workbook. It helped me feel my way into a very great unknown and having a written record only made me more confident about the changes I was making. Hindsight is a great enabler. You’ll need it in the weeks to come as you begin to declutter and take your first steps into a minimalist lifestyle. In my next post I’ll be covering the best way to begin when you’re a parent with young children at home. So I’ll leave you with this: Knowing who you are, your values and motivations will be what enables you to live a fulfilling lifestyle. Discipline is what you need to make it stick.

Laura x